I am in doubt now for what is better skiing or riding a bicycle

I don't know why I have signed here. I don't feel like to write anything. I was about to switch off this my noisy 'puter after failed exercise number 80.1
Just such nonsence:
here is a line of angle brackets:
<> <> <><> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
here is a line of angle brackets:
<> <> <><> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
here is a line of angle brackets:
<> <> <><> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\
what was a next line I didn't know because I failed just right on this line....
I thought what a weak person I am, (oh Gosh! I am typing with all my ten fingers now!!!)
remembered a good email from my friend ( it was a story about loving grandson. His Grandad was reading his worn-out Bible every morning and the boy, who wanted to be just like his Grandad, read too. But he couldn't understand much and he regreted that he was forgetting too fast what he had read.He asked his Grandad: What good does reading the Bible do? Then his Grandad asked him to bring water in a coal basket. How good the boy tried to bring water in a coal basket, he couldn't. All the water leaked out while he was running with the basket from the river bank. His Grandad smiled and suggested to run faster. Still the boy couldn't bring any water in it. He wanted to take a bucket instead. But his Grandad wanted him to bring water just in a basket. The boy understood it was useless. So he said it to his Grandad. He answered: look at a basket, is it the same? The boy realized it wasn't the same...It was clean now. His Grandad continued...You may not remember or understand everything you read in the Bible. But when you read, it will change you from the inside out. That is the work of God in our lives. To change us from the inside out and to slowly transform us into the image of His Son.)
So I am going to finish my exercise and read my Bible after I have finished with today's entry...
A big thank to my friend for sending this email.
I didn't come home in regular time for chat today. I was riding my bicycle in the forest. Though I so love my online friends I just couldn't turn back as it was soooooooo exciting!!!! After night's rain the ground was soft. No mud. Besides, forest's paths are soft itself and tree's roots coming out of the ground just made my riding even more exciting. I softly bounced on them and...I just forgot about time existing! How could I be so silly not to go riding on my bicycle last year?! Three hours of riding, listening birds, watching nature's beauty, riding inspite of splitting rain, that stopped soon- that was what I preferred to my chat. Oh. I hope my friends can understand me.


First of May

I got up early, very early today... It was my third rightful day off but I decided to go and empty those bins until all rubbish would have gone around. That would be much worse. After doing that I went to the forest. Wow, how birds were singing! That was something! Fresh, cool air, birds twittering. Nobody was around. Paths were dry, just good for bike riding. The only thing that let me down was lots of rubbish scattered around the forest. Probably it was under the snow all winter, but lots of fresh paper and plastic packs and bottles were thrown everywhere... Why do people act so? Do they throw rubbish all around their apartments as well?
I didn't walk much in summer last year. This year I am going to...
After getting up at 5 o'clock I was yawning all day, though I felt just perfect!
As always I ran out of traffic in April and I missed chats with my friends for a couple of days.
I visited X today. She treated me with her delicious cooking and we were watching a film on TV half of the day. A good romantic russian film, the whole three series, happy ended one, like most of American's movies.
One plant I gave to X five years ago grew taller than ME!!!!!!! I couldn't help envying!!!! Everything grows Chernobyl sizes in their flat! What is it? A nice care about flowers or there are really good and bad zones in our places? ohhhhh I should take pictures about her flower-plants jungles! I do not envy for nothing!


I'll write later on

Oh.I am sleepy. That's just so nice that I want to sleep at the right time. YAAAAAAWNS her head OFF
Okay, I should add anything to call it my daily entry.
Really it was a long day filled with events. If not my yawning I would write a lot.
Poor excuse.
oh, no ...I will write later. I think I can asleep before my computer goes off after turning it off. LOL


I don't know why but I have a feeling of anxiety... I don't even know when it appeared. It was strange but I couldn't get into my emailbox on Yandex today. The Yandex service didn't accept my password. Geez! I checked Caps Lock, language Layout, everything was okay but my password wasn't accepted! I had to change it. I had to use my cell-phone to get a code for password confirmation. How complicated! Okay, and now I have to make a great effort not to forget this my new password because I so got used to an old one. Whines....
Downloaded some lessons from BBC.com. They started two new programmes " People and Places" and "How To". Second one is about grammar.
Chicken is unfrozen, so it's a high time to go to the kitchen and cook our favourite soup. But really my favourite soup is vegetable one! Broccoli, cauliflower, pea, carrot, potato, French beans, and....errr how they call that pepper that is not chilli, I wonder? Plus dill and parsley, some spices....and YUMMY...just any fish is better than this soup!


Wednesday is over, as work day...It's only past seven o'clock but I am soooo free!!! Paper round has done. Now I'd like to continue my typing...I need my speed typing about 200 letters per a min, then I can rely on getting a good job in call center for instance...Well, nobody can even guess how I long for normal job that my daughter and relatives wouldn't feel ashamed because I work by janitor and paper deliver. I am not a prostitute, I do not steal in supermarkets or somewhere ...that would be a reason to feel low and be ashamed of self state. Isn't it a work to be done well, cleaning territory around apartment block? Why on the Earth those swines don't feel low when they throw rubbish, stubs, bottles out of windows on the lawn, why do people cleaning after them are being despised?
I hate many things now in this life, and now I feel more and more lonely, even more than before...


I started touch-typing course after fortnight break again. Hard work caused this break, not my laziness. Hands kept falling on the keyboard. But as they say, one can get used to doing any work. So did I. I thought my fingers would forget learnt rows. Fantastic! They didn't! I type quite good in small letters. The only problem that has appeared for me is I can type fast that text that I see on the screen, if I have to type something from my head, fingers become retarded :-))) But I think I must put off solving this problem until I have finished all 100 sessions. I think now there's connection " eyes & fingers" and I'll have to switch it on to connection " mind & fingers". Practice makes perfect, that's for sure! I remember what difficulties I had with typing "c","w", now it's in the past. I do it automatically not giving a thought to it. But typing capital letters is a PROBLEM!!!! hahahah NOW. I hope one day I can read this and laugh at my today's problems.
I had to work today not feeling well. TeraFlu doesn't help as before.


I don't know which virus took captive me. I have to admit that its intention is serious. UGH I won't say something new by that: it's so bad not feeling well! I was drinking hot tea soo much hoping those harmful viruses will get drowned in it. Still they don't seem to... And I had to run to the toilet continually. My favourite exprssion for to go to the toilet is to spend a penny. What if I really had to pay for every visit to the toilet? Wouldn't I go bankrupt? oh, well done, Annet!!! I didn't look up go bankrupt in my bilingual dictionary, spelled it correct even though I hardly used it before, maybe just once. he he if I don't praise myself, who else will?
It's 9 o'clock but it's not dark yet. Lena is absent and it's okay, better not to contact with me now...Oh, I have to cut off on this and go to wash my shawl sized handkerchief ready for tomorrow...YIKES...


I got a cold. ATISHOO!


Oh, I woke up with my nose running today. I had to go outside as it was my work day. I emptied hateful bins and went home to rest. Besides it started splitting again. The asphalt was wet with lots of worms on it. Oh. The weather was just to skip my work. Close to 10 oclock I went out again. I was digging up a flower-bed. The soil was just good for it. Before the rain it was as hard as a stone. Later, we, my sister husbands mother & I, dug up a new flower-bed and encircled it with bricks that were left after fixing my balcony. How great that I didnt throw them away. While I was digging up, the chief of mine came up to me and said a couple of words about my work. I was afraid she could say something about worms on the asphalt and so on. Even though I had two handkerchieves absolutely wet in my pocket, I had finished second flower-bed. As bricks were new the flower-bed looked great and round as if we used some special tools for it!

In the afternoon I went to buy something for my pooooor nose! My sisters husband mother called me as I passed by their porch ( she lives on the tenth floor as I do, this time she perhaps kept watch on the new flower-bed :-))). Well, we think somebody can need new bricks and steal them. I hope it will not happen though.) She asked where I was going. For meds and lemons was my answer. I wanted to joke about her keeping watch on it but changed my mind.

I bought two kinds of meds: TeraFlu and InfluenzaFlu. hahaha first is made in Switzerland and second one in Russia, but ingredients are the same. In the store called Dixie I bought 2,5 kg oranges, so much not only for that they contain lots of Vitamin C but for the ridiculous price! Just about $0,80 for a kg. They usually sell something rotten for such a price! But oranges were great! I ate 5 at one sitting. I felt how cold was wriiiiiiggling under Vitamin Cs attack lol.

Then I kept drinking lots of hot tea with lemon and as a result kept running to the loo.

In the evening I cooked the chicken&rice soup, our favourite. Lena was protesting against onion I fry with carrot. When it was ready she ate it with great appetite and I think tomorrow Ill have to cook this soup again.

I got an email from my friend. Due to him I write today. I am lazy, I am really lazy to write every day, or busy, or something else Oh I wont disclose my feelings right now for he can read something should be kept in secret.

Now I go to bedI wrote too much for my not feeling well today. TeraFlu is going to be drank after I have posted this.


being a janitor Day Five

I have just finished sweeping in front of our building. And now I have a break. It's harmful to work too much. Opssss my AntiVirus have just warded off somebody's attack DoS.Generic.ICMP.Smurf. What misfortune could it bring I wonder? Oh.....

I am not sure whether it is people began to value my labour or it's too cold outside to spend much time at porches and fill bins with rubbish to the brims. Maybe since a janitor is a pretty good girl it makes some difference to them? Well, I'd like to think so. :-)))


being a janitor Day Four


How I didnt want to get up today! It rained at night. I hoped janitors dont work in the rain, but they do. I like rainy weather. Such weather is my friend and an enemy of dust. So, rain & I are allies against dust.

Now I understand why I wont work here for long. The skin on hands became rough. I dont know what is to blame dust or my being outdoors, just skin on my face is getting dry very much.aaaaaaaaaaa I have a cream for my hands but not for my face. Thats the problem.

There were lots of worms on the asphalt, they always come out of soil in wet weather. I dont know why. I had to sweep these creatures off the pavement, to kill them in other words

Some men greet me when they pass by. I wonder, is it simply an upbringing or what?

I checked how well other janitors make their territories clean. Mine is cleaner I think. Sometimes I hate myself that I just cant do any work in half of strength (in a slipshod manner). Why do I try to do better? I need all my strength in other field, in learning English. It makes me love myself. Its very well known that if you love myself ,others will to love as well.

Went to do shopping, spent so much that I dont earn for one day. I shouldnt buy bananas, cheese and Cola, especially last one. I noticed one thing, when I have a lot of food I usually eat a little, when the fridge and shelves remaind vacuum, all I can think of is something eatable! Its right opposite for my daughter.

Yum-Yum, I have eaten a can of sea kale salad at one sitting. Still, what a good thing is life!


being a janitor Day Three

Oh, now I have to get up early. Its seven oclock. Its better to start working half an hour earlier because I am ashamed to empty those bins. YIKES I cant stand it if somebody watches me. I still think it is a worse part of janitors work.
The more cars parked beside our builing, the less work I have in some degree.

click me to see

While I was sweeping, someone who is a chief probably, came to me to give instructions. ha. ha. I dont know what its called in English though. It is an edge of pavement. Special blocks border the pavement. Here they are painted every spring. One block is painted in white, next one is not painted- grey. Then again-one is painted, other one is not. She said to sweep all dirt from them very carefully. YeahShe wanted me to lick them clean. I didnt say anything but thought keep on dreaming. It is possible to do that after a rain, now such careful sweeping resembles me a chemical warfare where I am not provided with a gas mask. I tried to explain that its too dusty to do that now but she advised to wet it with water. It was really dusty even when I was collecting that dry dust & dirt with a shovel. I filled 5 buckets, uf. Then I made a short break. I went home to have a cup of tea and say hello to my friend. A computer is a good thing but when it is connected to the Internet, its even better. Ive learned a new word with the help of my friend. Snot. :-))) It is an uncountable noun, doesnt have a plural form. he he in Russian language it is a countable noun. Snot is a stuff every nose produces in great amounts during a cold. Usually Kleenex is kind of help with snot.
After a break I cleaned a part of lawn beside the playground.
Got money for last weeks paper round and next 2350 copies I got used to putting them into boxes, hands hurt no more.


being a janitor Day Two


I set the alarm for 6 today and when it got off, first I felt- were my hands. They were burning, kind of pain. I reset the alarm for 7.20 and dragged myself to the bathroom. To say that I hate being a janitor is to say nothing. Twenty minutes to seven I went to work. There were long rows of cars on both sides of the road. So early it didnt leave me a chance to start sweeping. I empted bins, it was easier than yesterday. Now I hate smoking even more. Cigarette stubs not only stink in the bins, they are so well seen on the road. Picked up rubbish from the lawn around our building. Children make paper planes and fling them out of windows. They fling, I pick up, just nice. Somebody threw out a text-book of Russian language. Here and there were pieces of foam rubber, as white- it is so well seen and needed to be gathered. I paid attention ( I had to! not to step on it!) on dogs faeces. UGH There were a lot of them especially behind of the building. I cant understand it. If you have a dog, can it be disgusting to put your dogs faeces in a plastic bag? The dog is the familys member. Its like a child who cant take care of one self, so his/her owner must do it! If I had a dog I would never make surroundings a toilet. But that is if I had a dog, my own. To pick up that stuff for others I am not going to. Its out of the question.

Then I continued to work sweeping children playground. I swept sand and small brunches in piles. Ten minutes to eight went home to let my daughter go to school, had a tea. It was so cold and windy outside!
About nine oclock I was checked whether I was working and I asked about a dustpan. They promised to buy it as soon as possible. I said that I feel my hands off gathering sand with the shovel. It is heavy indeed! Some cars got off so I could sweep a little where it was needed. The woman who was cleaning in porches said about dogs stuff on the asphalt. I let her know my opinion about it. Finally I had to sweep it off.

Continued to cover trees trunks with emulsion. There was not enough paint and maybe about 8 trees were left uncovered. Tomorrow Ill tell them I need some emulsion more. Called it a day when it wasnt even a noon. I worked about 5 hours with breaks. I know I must work 6 hours but does anybody want to know where I have seen this work??? Anybody may guess where

I went home , changed clothes and went to interview for a cashier in the warehouse. In ads was named a wage-24,000 rub. Its needless to say that I am drooling for such a wage. I got disappointed, they needed a cashier with the car, the new warehouse is located a way far from Domodedovo, it doesnt connected with the public transport. Of course without knowing Excel, Word, IC to go to interview was a sheer waste of time but I did it for conscience sake.

After interview I felt sooo sleepy that I let my bones to lay down to get some rest. Hips are aching too after dancing around trunks :-))) Lena took advantage of my weakness giving me a good massage and afterwards was letting go for a walk. When in the evening I asked her to give me an example of using used to she was completely speechless. I dont know what or who is on her mind but thats definitely not an English language. I asked her to say There used to be a TV set in the corner of the room. She couldnt translate it, then I asked her to give me any example with using used to. After a long thinking the phrase I used to go to the cinema before we moved here. was born. Next time Ill ask her about the difference between I used to do and I am used to doing. I am sure she will stay at home. :smirk: I know, I may be veeeery mean!


being a janitor Day One


I cant sleep. I am tossing, sighing and thinking about a coming day. The day when I need to put my self-respect somewhere deep inside of me. I weighed all pros and cons before to apply this job. It seemed to be right to do it. Butnot now Now I am so nervous that cant sleep. I really dont want to make living sweeping streets! It is a job for pensioners, some extra money to their small pensions.
I am with a broom YIKES
an image for my nightmare if I can get some sleep tonight


I got up at seven. My daughter, a culprit of my forthcoming shame, occupied the bathroom for half an hour. I wanted to wash my hair but then changed my mind. What for? Wont my hair be dirty again after all this dusty sweeping?
The good thing was that my panic vanished, I became kind of calm


9.09 Two women called me outside, gave a key from a small room where were some implements like bags for refuse, a bucket, spades, shovels, and of course several gnawed brooms. I was given a pair of gloves as well. I asked how often I can change gloves. YIKES One pair for a month. Just my luck!
I put on those thin gloves on my yet tender hands andwhining soundlessly and uselessly, took a big white sack to empty refuse bins that are beside every porch. Geez, why do our building of three porches???
I must say that this is worst in janitors job, at least as I felt it at that moment. People became to seem bastards to me. Why do they throw their refuse in bins beside their porches if there are special big containers for home rubbish just about 70 metres away? awwww how it was disgustingthose smelly cigarette stubs, somebody threw something incrediable stinky, that after empting those bins that stench followed me for awhile.
Then I took the shovel and the broom to sweep the territory around the building. As on Easter we had snow it wasnt too dusty. The dust turned into mud and I was fighting with it with shovel. haha later all I felt, were my hands. Bastards, who smokes and throw stubs in the road! Those who make efforts to throw stubs into bins and miss are twice as bastards! Bastards those who have dogs and dont pick up faeces after their pets!
hahah I saw such dropping just beside of one porch, as it seemed to be fresh I didnt want to soil my broom and let it get dry first. Later someone said that people were complaining that it wasnt cleaned. I couldnt care less!!! Let them watch out their dogs.
I didnt notice how time passed, it was about one oclock when I finished sweeping. Then I was handed a jar of emulsion, to cover with it trees trunks, to preserve them from insect pests. Besides that is beautiful, I must say. Probably it was the most pleasant part of my todays work. hahah It was written on the jar to add water. So first I poured off some emulsion for my own need and added water to the rest paint. I had about half of trees on my territory covered with the emulsion. I thought as it was so pleasant to do I should leave some of it for tomorrow!
I decided to call it a day.


I ran out of milk. A nice exprssion. Somebody may think I didnt have any milk in my fridge, but really it means that nothing eatable was left. A tricky English, isnt it? I had to do some shopping. I bought a frozen chicken, bread, carrot, onion, a couple of sausages, apples, kefir and tomato paste.
I left the chicken to unfreeze.
I tried to do some typing but my fingers didnt obey me. They were kind of numb, oh. I did six attempts to comlete an exercise and only seventh one was successed. How I cursed that shovel
I made Lena to study English for my day suffering at work. She was just glad! And I couldnt understand what was difficult in usage to get used to do something. :-))) I used to be a cashier..hahahahahaha Well, I couldnt hear her wheels were turning but she managed to do several exercises with only two mistakes.
When it was late I remembered about the chicken and wanted to make a soup. But alas, I forgot to buy some potatoes. I poured a glass of water out of chicken, thats one of the reasons I dont like to buy a whole chicken. Because after I cut off chickens skin beside its butt and neck and remove most of its fat theres not much left to say the least. In addition I have to pour so much water for the price of chicken. yikesId prefer to buy chickens breasts of course. But such a pleasure not for janitors
I washed plates, Lena left after our supper ( pancakes, yummy!!!). Going to bed Iwas thinking about giving her to have something done as a panishment.


I am back.

I am back in my diary...
I tried different sites to write in ....MSN place is nice...but...it's better here...Desing...colours...I opened it and felt like I am back home after a long trip...

I am upset after my posting on BBC site. Now I feel that I sounded rude, too disapproving! What if that girl stopped posting after some critical notes? Two of them were from her compatriots. Her keeping silent drives me mad... I still keep my point of view but I'd like my post to be deleted.
Tomorrow's St Patrick's Day. Maybe she has no idea what to write about? Then it's a good chance to tell that a lot of people celebrate this day in Moscow!
Let her to write ANYTHING!!!


What a rough day!
How many places I had to run around , make calls today and it's all just because I was so silly to get married that sleazebag, WHICH doesn't want to pay alimony to his kid !
Again I have to recall everything, that I'd never want to remember at all and write it down on paper and ..more...go to Moscow tomorrow and send this stuff by fax to the police of sleazebag's town. Thanks to a police's major, who is a woman, I don't need to go there myself...for this time.
I hope this time they get ample evidence to get him in prison.

My daughter's computer crashed during electric cut. I hope everything is okay with "iron" and only software has to be reinstalled.
And I crashed on a song...
Really cute one...Just listen....
I love my computer
you make me feel alright
every waking hour
and every lonely night
I love my computer
for all you give to me
predictable errors and no identity
and it's never been quite so easy

I've never been quite so happy
all I need to do is click on you
and we'll be joined
in the most soul-less way
and we'll never
ever ruin each other's day
cuz when I'm through I just click
and you just go away

I love my computer
you're always in the mood
I get turned on
when I turn on you
I love my computer
you never ask for more
you can be a princess
or you can be my whore
and it's never been quite so easy

I've never been quite so happy
all I need to do is click on you
and we'll be joined
in the most soul-less way
and we'll never
ever ruin each other's day
cuz when I'm through I just click
and you just go away

the world outside is so big
but it's safe in my domain
because to you
I'm just a number
and a clever screen name
all I need to do is click on you
and we'll be together for eternity
and no one is ever gonna take my love
from me because I've got security,
her password and a key

I can't stop shouting it ..okay probably out of tune ...
My daughter couldn't stand my singing any more and just asked me for ear-phones, yeah a polite kid!
Had to stop...sigh
That's such a state... it's inside of you until you pour it out with loud singing ..then you feel better...

@: Bad Religion " I Love My Computer"




I should say it...but I do not understand one thing...

The less posts-the more readers? LOL

Welcome Zinda and Livin La Loca!

Would you please say what interesting caught your eye in here?

My diary reminds me a mould bread or a dark part of a room with web, web, web and spiders in there...
Oh I should keep it or quit it...


Its morning

Its morning, its morning, hooray, hooray!!! :ura:

At last I can make tea for myself and eat this halva that made me drooling all night!
6 oclock. It is morning. I mustnt eat at night but in the morning I can, even if it is sooo early!
I didnt sleep all night
No wonder! Yesterday I didnt sleep all night as well. But then I slept half of the day. Thats just a simple arithmeticIf I go to bed at 11.00pm and get up at 7.00am-therere 8 hours of sleep. The day is of 24 hours. So if we subtract 8 out of 24 well get 16. I need to be on foot 16 hours as minimum to get enough natural tiredness. In my case I slept from 7 oclock till 13 oclock, By the time I went to bed it passed only 11 hours. No wonder I couldnt asleep. But now, oh I do want to hug my pillowhahahahahahaha
Alas! Now I have to keep myself awake. The day will be busy for me and I DO NOT want NONE-SLEEPS next night.
I have really turned into a night owl recently! :owl:


I couldn't asleep tonight...for some reasons...
maybe because of those noises such as rattling sound of my old fridge and the lift being used at 2 am. A new phone's display was glinting in the dark to boot. Then sometimes I sink into loneliness...It happened with me tonight as well...I tried to fight with bitter thoughts till 4 am. By this time I guessed to switch off backlight of the display in both mode: in charger and without charger. At last it stopped to reflect on the ceiling. Then I changed in settings of the handset the language to English. Because I didn't know how to call that "backlight" in English. I think I could asleep after I figured it out. So I could sleep about two hours before a new melody alarmed me. It's a nice new gadget, my sister presented me at New Year!
Ohh the only thing makes me glad now...in spite of the lack of sleep it is my last day in cafe...I take my vacation and then I quit working in Moscow...


"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand."
Emily Kimbrough